Pffft!!!

Each and every morning, I get up and after time has passed, I wander off to the 'loo, do my business and get on with my day.

Erm, that does pose a wee problem for moi on overnight flights, when after time has passed, I wake up and *coughs* attempt to have my morning constitution.

I hates having a pony in the plane 'loo. For all those who do not know what a pony is, I aint telling ya, just use your imagination, pfft! to you I say.

Anyways, 'nuff about you, let's get back to me

I recognize that y'all might think me to be a sweet, young thing that could only exude scents of flowers and stuff BUT there are moments when....well, I am less-than-sweet smelling.

And since I am traveling alone, I can't blame my bleedin' husband for the rudeness.

Suggestions? Thoughts? Anyone?

*whispers*

Just between you and me....if you were innocently walking down the street *ahem* and a bodacious gal gave you the once over, smiled and said, 'Have a nice day, darling' ...whatever would you do?

I have seen gals flirt with my hubby and he doesn't have a clue what's going on *eegit* in fact, it took years of me flirting with him before he realized what was going on *doofus*

*edges closer to computer screen*

G'wan. Tell me what you would do. You know you wanna.

Why that would be my day Monday.

I had such great plans. I was gonna make some shortbread cookies, a couple of dozen of bran muffins but I spent the day playing games on the Wii and the damned DS.

Was supposed to be relaxing on my day off but gawd, I get myself wound up playing those games.

I did make a shed load of hubby's favorite pasta sauce which pleased him to no end. He could eat pasta every night if I let him.

I sat at one end of the table watching him scarf whole wheat pasta with homemade pasta sauce and I ate sauteed eggplant and pasta sauce.

*whimpers*

WOOHOO!

Took about eight hours and thirty minutes for a slight irritation to kick in. Mind you, of that eight hours and thirty minutes, I was asleep for eight hours and twenty-five minutes.

The first sign of my irritation popping up was when I noticed someone blocking me from the coffee maker which, I might add, is a no-no.

It is good to have him back if only for a few days.

Have a wonderful Sunday evening.

Toodles.

Soooooo....who wants to bet that hubby is gonna lose his ever-loving mind looking after the crew here in MenoLand?

Anyone?

Just for the record, I look after 8 birds residing in 5 cages which are cleaned once a day and fed twice a day, 15 fish scattered in 7 tanks with some fish fed three times per day and others only twice, 1 kitty-kitty who has 2 feeding areas depending on his mood and the Trio - Molly G, a chocolate labrador retriever who suffers separation anxiety and has been known to eat a mattress or the walls when stressed and has never been away from me in 3 years, Sammy, the mixed breed dog who lurves to scarf dog treats and sits on your heels till you feed him and then Puddum P, the 13 pound PomPoo who defines high maintenance. I take the dogs on three walks a day.

And I cook hubby's meals, 3 a day, fresh food and all he has to do is sit at the table.

Phowaaaarrrrrrr!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Prologue

Chilly weather, pissing rain for two days, scratchy throat, feeling punky, Meno fears cold starting to come and then fecks off, then cold starting to come for fecking hours on end, the Trio are super hyper, Casper the cockatoo screaming more than usual.

cue convo between hubby and Meno

Meno: How ya doing Da?

Hubby: Having a great time Ma. I am relaxing with Dad, food is good, the gambling is good and we are enjoy our vacation.

Meno: It's gonna snow north of the city tonight.

Hubby: Really? It's 80 degrees in Las Vegas now.

Postscript

I am so getting rip, roaring shit-faced in Liverpool. Roll on November 30th.

I do miss hubby when he is gone.

Having said that, it is nice not having to look after him.

Bit of a break it is.

Yes.

It is true.

I cater to his whims and desires.

*plumps lips and kisses herself in the mirror*

I like to look after him.

As he looks after me.

Gawd only knows I'll be whinging about him when he gets back but that is all part and parcel of us being us.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Damn his attractiveness!

Even I, tough and cold-hearted Meno, managed to succumb to his charms.

Damn my weakness!!

Why, oh why, did I have my way with my husband when he has a fricking cold?

Curses!

*sniffles*

There's a couple of lines in Glen Campbell's song Witchita Lineman that cuts deep and true for me with hubby and he with me.

I need you more than I want you. And I want you for all time.

That sums us up. Pretty much

As much as y'all know I am full of piss'n'vinegar, I must say hubby loves a great laugh as well.

Since he doesn't blog and won't be starting any time soon, you only hear me ranting and raving about him but I gotta tell ya he is the funniest man I know.

I was drawn to hubby's sense of humor and love of life.

Still am.

Which brings me to the time we were playing hide'n'seek up at the family cottage about a gazillion years ago. Our friend Michael was it and had to find the rest of us.

Lemme set the scene...

Dark night, stars sprinkling across the sky, mosquitoes galore, a few pints consumed and 1-2-3...Time's up! I'm coming to find you!!!

My friend Kathy and I had retreated to the cottage as the men were being complete arses when they were playing hide'n'seek and lo and behold, hubby walks in, a few dirt marks on him, hair disheveled and his glasses wonky on his face.

'What the hell happened to you?' sezs I.

'I decided to hide behind the big pine tree so I ran and jumped behind it but I had forgot that it was growing off a cliff and feel down about 15 feet' remarked hubby rather shakily.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! was my sympathetic response.

Can someone please explain to me why I am unable to eat anything without spilling it on me?

Hubby sezs it is because I don't lean over when I eat smart arse and yes, he has watched me scarf food closely wanker.

I mean here I sit with pineapple juice splotted on my left leg which looks like wee.

Damn it!!

And dontcha notice that when ya spill sumfink on your blouse/top that it always lands near yer nipple area?

No?

All righty then.

I'll get me coat.

Gawd.

It's the little things in life that does me in.

I can handle the big things, my profession requires me to do so and on a personal level, I've had more than my share of trials and tribulations which has given me a stiff upper lip and a thick layer of skin.

But...

...the frapping, fricking, fooking Kitchen Aid oven that was bought and installed in our frapping,fricking, fooking kitchen over 5 years ago when we renovated our kitchen, that modern invention, is giving me grief.

And, I am about ready to get me pointy toe boots on and pile drive that mutha-phecker right up its pie-hole.

If it had one.

Seems whenever I cook something over 400 degrees, that mutha-phecker refuses to work more than 10 minutes tops and then it shuts down.

ARGHHHHHH!!!

cue scene with hubby and Meno in the kitchen, hubby trying to calm his maniacal wife down

Meno: This fecking oven!!! Gah!!!

Hubby: Ma, try cooking the sweet potatoes at 395 degrees instead of 400

cue Meno's right eye twitching

Meno: Are you deranged?

Hubby: Er, no but the sensor on the oven is wonky so cook foods at a lower temperature.

Meno: FFS! There are some foods that require a higher temperature and I would like to eat them preferably this century as opposed to waiting until I come back reincarnated as an evil she-devil.

Hubby: I'd say you are well on your way to being a she-devil there Ma.